The Remembering of Jarren Vaughan Habel…

birthday-cakeToday, as I awoke, all that kept running through my head was “Tá Brón Orm” (the sadness is upon me) for today is my beautiful baby boy’s 43rd birthday.

I’ve written about Jarren Vaughan and his early death from measles both HERE and HERE so what was it that flung me into such deep sadness today which meant I only managed to crawl out of bed, swallow a bit of food and then retreat to the comfort of the “blankies” willing myself to sleep, to forget and to be at peace?… Total oblivion, if only for a few more hours.

No great mystery really… it was the unearthing, a few weeks ago, of the last loving message, sent 18 years ago, from my now deceased mum on the event of Jarren’s birthday. Mum and dad were living way down south in Goolwa, at that time, and it was a beautiful hand-crafted card which turned up in the post.

jarren. note from mum

Every year mum always remembered, always contacted me and we shared the loving memories which included the joy and sadness at the loss of that little scrap of humanity… Jarren Vaughan Habel.  My husband was in the RAAF (Royal Australian Air Force), we were living in Perth, Western Australia, and mum was the only family member who ever knew him, held him, fed him, comforted him and marvelled at the miracle he was… apart from myself, his dad and his big three year old brother, Cullen Andrew.

I wrote on the back: "Nana and Jarren (Aged 5 weeks the baby, that is) May 1970"

I wrote on the back: “Nana and Jarren (Aged 5

weeks the baby, that is) May 1970″

"Cullen, Nana and Jarren enjoying special cuddles" May 1970

“Cullen, Nana and Jarren enjoying special cuddles” May 1970

The sadness was because of the realisation that never again would I get a loving message of remembrance on my little boy’s birthday… and the tears fell.  Little did I know what was awaiting me when finally forcing myself to face the day. Logging onto Facebook was a beautiful message from “My Little Ray of Sunshine”, my precious daughter Kirrily Ann, born 2 years after Jarren…

Kirrily and mummy -  Sep 1972

Kirrily and mummy – Sep 1972

… and then came the acknowledgements and loving messages from others showing that my beautiful Jarren Vaughan will always be remembered and included as a member of our family and the ache in my heart eased.

It was especially lovely to hear that my youngest Grandson, Jay, had been talking with his mummy about Uncle Jarren and asking questions… such as why he was given that name?…  Kirrily passed on the story.

Thankyou everyone and much love to you all.

~~~~~~~~~

Copyright © 2013. Catherine Ann Crout-Habel

Advertisements

Tiny Red Roses …

Feelings of sadness wash over me whenever another tiny baby shows up, in the family history, as stillborn or dying at any early age.

So many little children who didn’t make it to adulthood …

So many mothers with grieving hearts and empty arms …

My own great grandmother, Eliza Jane (Rowan) Murray buried her first baby boy and then some 12 months later, after burying her  second baby boy, went back to her empty childless home. However, the thought of that endless rain pelting down on his fresh tiny grave sent her running back to the cemetery to cover his final resting place with his new baby blanket.

No one can tell me that mothers of yester-year were more accustomed to baby deaths and were therefore less affected than the mothers of today.

So, alongside each early death, in my family chart, I place a tiny red rose in love and remembrance.  

May these little souls forever Rest in Peace and may their mothers know that their babes are always remembered.  

Barrier Miner (Broken Hill, NSW: 1888-1954), Sat 18 Jan 1890, pg 3.

In Memory of:  Peter MURRAY 1887 – 23 Jan 1889 and Walter MURRAY 1889 – 14 Jan 1890 – Broken Hill Cemetery, Old Catholic Section: Row 3, Grave 5.

~~~~~~~~~

SOURCE:  TROVE:  National Library of Australia   
                    http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article44045990

(c) Copyright 2012.  Catherine Crout-Habel. Seeking Susan ~ Meeting Marie ~ Finding Family