Qq is for – Quandary

Oh, what a Quandary I’ve been in, over the past couple of days, but happily not of the unpleasant kind. In this post for the Gould “Family History Through the Alphabet Challenge”  it’s a delight to share my most recent and incredibly delightful quandary. The question/ dilemma/ puzzle has been to decide which of the very worthy applicants for a KIVA loan would “kick start” me as a Kiva lender in an ongoing Memorium to my precious mum. What a delightful, and delicious dilemma, to be in, eh? …


The sadness is always upon me that mum is no longer here to “chew the fat” with … do “the ins and outs of… every little thing you can think of” with, get grumpy with, laugh and make-up with and always the sharing of the family stories. 

It was a shock to realise that it’s now five years since I’ve felt mum’s loving arms around me, was about to fall into a wailing heap on the Anniversary of her death and then it seemed that her voice came to me … “don’t be maudlin’ Catherine!!!” Within a split second I saw the way forward. A way to overcome my sadness and deal with these seemingly endless feelings of loss. A KIVA loan, in mum’s memory!!! … now I was smiling again.

I’ve read about the “Genealogists for Families” KIVA team, relate to their Motto: “We loan because we care about families (past, present and future)”, decided it was a good idea but never got around to doing anything about it until I got “the message” from mum on the 5th Anniversary of her death and could see her acting out her mother’s rather rude response to the plaintive weepings and wailings of the child mum was back in the early 1930’s when she’d be saying to Nana “I wish……..”

OK … with my mind now made up but feeling a little unsure about how to go about it remembered that Pauleen, in her “Family History Across the Seas” blog, wrote about the process some time ago so checked this out too and was ready to fly!!!

Then came my Quandary and the delicious and delightful dilemma of choosing who would be the first recipient?  The KIVA website made it so easy. On the left hand sidebar I simply indicated the type of person and their aspirations that mum would most like to support. Up popped a couple of likely recipients but it was Lizzbeth Marisol, from Peru, whom I decided on and am sure that mum would be well pleased.

Lizzbeth Marisol was requesting a loan of $400 to help cover the cost of processing and obtaining her B.A. Degree in Accounting and also purchase books, learning materials to pursue further studies in languages to help progress her career opportunities. The KIVA website provided more information about Lizzbeth, her family life, study and work history and within the blink of an eye knew that Lizzbeth was mum’s choice.

Kathleen Mary (Allan) Crout, 1956 (c) C.A.Crout-Habel

Mum was always passionate about education and insistent that girls’ should have the same educational opportunities as boys. Happily another 11 people joined me, with a small loan to Lizzbeth, and she now has the $400 to continue her education.

May you forever R.I.P. my precious mum, Kathleen Mary (Allan) Crout.



 Copyright © 2012. C.A.Crout-Habel

23 thoughts on “Qq is for – Quandary

  1. What a lovely tribute to your Mum Catherine. Kiva is a great way to remember our loved ones, living or deceased, as we our small loans can make such a big difference to the lives of the less fortunate. Just think of Lizzbeth carrying on your mum’s memory in such a practical way. Great post, thanks!

    • Thankyou Pauleen, I love that it’s a loan, that people keep their dignity, it’s such a small amountand you can choose where your money goes. Amazing that the person who fits perfectly, and takes the initial loan, is named Lizzbeth… My mum’s mother’s name is Elizabeth 🙂

      • It was meant to be Catherine, and yes, I love that it helps people to help themselves….you know the old story “teach a (wo)man to fish…”

  2. That’s beautiful Catherine and you describe your relationship with your Mum with so much love. Your posts about her have me immensely in coming to terms with the recent loss of my own much loved Mum.

    • Thanks Kerryn. So pleased that my posts have helped even a little with your grieving, know the pain is still very raw and how much you love and miss your precious mum. Making this loan “settles” me a bit more… and we all have to find a way to gradually come to terms with such profound loss. Thanks for always caring and sending lots of healing energy your way.

    • Oh Kirrily Ann… your Nana would be SO loving this, eh? Loaning money to a girl to continue her education etc, etc. She loved school but had to leave at end of Year 7, after getting her “QC” (Qualifying Cerificate) to go onto High School, because the family needed her wages. I’ll feel much calmer now every year on the Anniversary of her death. xxx

    • Thanks Sheryl … I’m so glad that the “Genealogists for Families” KIVA team popped into my head just at the right moment. Mum will be well pleased, indeed she will. Have decided that when the money is re-paid, I’ll loan it out again so it’ll be perpetual Memorium to her.

  3. Catherine, welcome to the Genealogists for Families team. I am so pleased that making a Kiva loan has given you some comfort as you remember your Mum. The borrower you chose seems most appropriate. I think Julie Goucher (http://anglersrest.blogspot.com/2011/12/virtual-advent-tour-kiva-genealogists.html) was the first of our team members to make a commemorative loan on a special anniversary, and since then many of us have followed her example.

  4. Pingback: Family History Through the Alphabet - Q is for ... | Genealogy & History News

  5. Good one Mum, I have been postponing doing Kiva for a long time but you inspired me to finally get on the wagon. I supported a bloke in South Africa to go to University, just like Nana did with me 🙂 Lovely to be able to pay it forward 🙂

    • Oh, Chad Sean… your Nana certainly will be well pleased, eh? … To think that she told no-one of the times she’d send money to you, the impoverished but VERY proud student, to help “keep body and soul together” 🙂 What a wonderful Legacy she’s left us… xox

  6. Pingback: SENTIMENTAL SUNDAY: Love ya mum… | Seeking Susan ~ Meeting Marie ~ Finding Family

    • Thankyou Su… I’m so glad you went back and read this original post. Yep… our mums sure are special eh?
      Please, give your mum a big hug from me when you get back up to the Northern Hemisphere for the visiting 🙂

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